Motivational Quote of the Day
“There is nothing more satisfying than not watching a Facebook viral video that says something extremely mundane is so satisfying to watch.” - Lord Hambersham, DDS
Cereal of the Day
In 1948 Post had a hit with Sugar-Crisp. It was one of the first named sugared cereals, and companies like Kellogg’s quickly followed suit. This puffed wheat cereal is a piece of sugared cereal history and set a generation of dentists on a very profitable path. Eventually though, due to health-conscious public sentiment the name was changed to Golden Crisp in the United States. It remains Sugar-Crisp in Canada (hence the updated picture with the bear in a very not-the-1940s hoodie). A very popular cereal, Sugar-Crisp might be more familiar to you by Kellogg’s copy, Honey Smacks. These two cereals formed many childhoods behind bowls of sugar, and caused our mothers to declare sugar cereal off limits, which in turn caused us to dive head first into serving sized bowls of Lucky Charms as teenagers.
While Sugar-Crisp was never recalled for Salmonella like Honey Smacks (yes, this happened), it still became one of the most highly sugared cereal in existence. It ran about 50% sugar by weight. That’s nothing compared to its spinoff, Super Orange Sugar Crisp, which ran a whopping 71% sugar by weight. The mascot, Sugar Bear, had its own transformation over time, changing its name to Super Bear. This is when it ditched the grandpa sweater for the cool red hoodie. Because that’s what all the cool kids wear. They also eat ridiculous amounts of sugar soaked in milk. And we wonder why this country is so goddamn fat.
News From Earth
Debt is something that extremely American. The average citizen, as it pertains to debt, has much in common with the government. Except citizens can’t raise the debt ceiling like the government can, escaping the imaginary creditors. Once again, the United States is nearing the debt ceiling. Don’t worry, this time is different? Congress will figure it out? The good news is that Republicans are in charge now, and will surely hold Biden and the Democrats hostage with a debt solution until they get approval on some of their shitty, hateful polities. Oh wait, that’s not good news, that’s some actual bullshit. It’s hard not to be angry about the political selfishness that is taking place at the highest levels of government, it’s as if the voters don’t matter at all.
That’s because we don’t. We really never did, and the debt ceiling since its inception is another example of that. It allows the government to spend, spend, spend and threaten social security, Medicare and the paychecks and pensions of government employees when it spends too much. When the debt ceiling is hit, the government can no longer just print money. It either has to reign in spending (on whatever serves the people, never on things like the military), or raise the debt ceiling. The latter is usually the solution, as according to the Treasury, since 1960, the ceiling has been raised 78 separate times. 49 times under Republican presidents and 29 times under Democratic presidents. That’s a fucking tall building built out of debt, and eventually, it will collapse. It’s like a dumb, expensive game of Jenga, during an earthquake.
Sandwich of the Day
From the proprietary sandwich generation tool:
Pepper Turkey & Coulommiers With Dried Apricots On Mantou Bread.
Ephemeral Erosion
We will all die not only alone, but in terrible debt. We might think otherwise, but aside from the tangibles of financial debt, our emotional debt will never let us feel absolution. Assuming we can overcome this emotional debt is just a different form of lying to ourselves. But that all seems too damn negative. In most cases, whatever we carry to our death beds, we drop on the ground because we no longer have the ability to carry it all, and we don’t notice we dropped it, and never really realized we were carrying it. That’s the wonderful thing about it all, we just all float into the clouds with our bags of salt and potatoes. The afterlife is french fries and nacho cheese.
We’re all trapped in a submarine full of vending machines that almost always take our money without returning a product, but every once in a while when we accidentally bump into a machine, a candy bar drops out. Well, that could be any rest stop along I-75, but you get the point. Moments of satisfaction that erase a lifetime of disappointment, it’s that easy. That weight we carry can easily be dropped and just as quickly forgotten about because there are more important things going on, like not carrying that debt, because it just doesn’t matter. Especially when you can print your own money.