Motivational Quote of the Day
“If you aren’t telling at least sixty lies a day, then you are telling the truth and that can be worse.” - Lord Hambersham, DDS
Cereal of the Day
Light and crispy, these oddly shaped packets of grains were advertised as containing the favorite flavors of the snub-nosed, stout alien we came to know as E.T. Peanut butter and chocolate, also found in Reece’s candy, created a chalky sweet moat of brown milk in the bowl, but at least it was devoid of red dyes. General Mills had a momentary hit with E.T. Cereal back in the 1980s, due to the success of the movie. Sure, it was basically the same as Reese's Peanut Butter Puffs, but oh wait, those shapes are E and T, right. That makes more sense. And there’s a storybook album offer inside! Whatever that is.
A common practice in the 1980s was consuming E.T. cereal through tears while the Atari controller sat dormant in your lap, the E.T. video game stuck on screen, nearly impossible to enjoy both things at once. The video game was a disaster, the cereal was a flash in the pan movie tie in, but still holds some fame today due to the success of the movie itself. There isn’t a Gen X pop culture nerd that can go a week without either referencing the cereal or the massive disaster that was the Atari video game. While Mr. T cereal might have been more popular at the time, E.T. is a timeless classic that might still be digesting in our aging guts.
News From Earth
George Santos, U.S. representative for New York's 3rd congressional district, was born on November 29th, 2892. A distant traveler from the future, he was sent back in a seed pod to warn us of something, which he cannot remember due to the effects of time travel on primary memory. Do not despair, as a future man, George Santos is fully trained in all aspects of 21st century technology and is currently working on a device that will recover his missing memories, as well as create a variation of oat milk that is actually drinkable. Until that time however, George Santos has worked hard to create a history for himself that would mirror one of a human born of the 20th century. Spending hours at the New York public library, he read some books and appended his life story to begin when we’d expect it to, not over 800 years in the future.
We can glean some things about the future from Santos however, such as the appreciation for sweaters in the 30th century. Stealing from dogs is cool in the future apparently, which makes sense as its known that domesticated animals would have been replaced by AI-enabled robots that appear as pets, but are actually state surveillance devices. Though Santos hasn’t been clear on that point. What he has been clear on is that he is here to serve, himself, so it’s a good thing he’s joined the GOP. There is nothing more self-serving than a Representative associated with the modern day Republican party, so Santos was smart to align himself with those idiots, as his future man status may prove him to be the best of them. Regardless, when Santos is ready to reveal the future to us, he will. Unless he’s lying about that too, in which case we should probably replace him with a paperweight.
Sandwich of the Day
From the proprietary sandwich generation tool:
Imitation Crab & Tasmania Highland Chevre Log With Spring Onion On Soda Bread.
Ephemeral Erosion
Creating our own history is part of the human experience, rarely is it wholly based in truth due to the changing nature of human memory. We claim to remember pieces of our lives, but can we be entirely sure that those events existed as we can now piece them together? Can we be sure that just moments ago we didn’t walk out from a Total Recall experience with implanted memories? The trick is to not completely discount our memories, but to move forward in spite of them. Thankfully, many of us have photos to remind us of the past, but these only assist minutely to shape the future. The future of course, being a memory yet to be formed.
So when we form stories about our lives, it makes sense that like a dinosaur with frog DNA, we have to fill in the gaps somehow. Most of the time this is done with embellishments, tiny white lies that affect very little of our day to day. Often times this is done with larger lies, complete fabrications of existence that have little to do with our current situation, but are created in order to weave a history that offers us mild comfort with whatever life we have left. The good news is that whatever we remember, not all of us are required to write an autobiography about it.